It’s no secret how much I love to swim, how much I love the water. It takes me back to summer cottages when my Boppa would take us out to jump in the waves and float on our child-sized ET air mattresses.
But it’s also no secret, despite decades of lessons from when I was young up until last summer, that I’m not a great swimmer, my arms just aren’t up for it because of my cerebral palsy (shaking) no matter what I try. And last summer I realized I’d rather just enjoy being in water in ways that make me the happiest, not trying to be the swimmer I wasn’t meant to be.
So when I found this book in Toronto the other weekend at the BMV off Yonge St, a small DK hardcover called How to Wild Swim of course I bought it for the pictures alone.
There is so much joy in just being in the water. For me the crazy part is that although my shaking keeps my from swimming laps, being in any water relieves the pain in my arms that my shaking causes. Bath, pools, lakes and the ocean (oh, the ocean!) always do this for me. So why has it taken me decades to be grateful and embrace this rather then make myself feel inadequate when I can’t swim seriously? Being grateful is what works, what is, what brings me joy. It works for everything. An almost fifty year old working part-time in a bookstore? Absolutely yes! Almost fifty and finally getting published? Way to work on those dreams and never giving up! Differences in my house and family from what might be the ‘norm’ for people our age? Our home shows off our decades of happiness and our kids, oh how they make us laugh!
I’m lucky enough right now to be reading an advanced copy of Wreck by beloved Catherine Newman. It’s the sequel to last summer’s Sandwich and it’s every bit as wonderful. I realized in the bath last night that I was already on page forty and put it down, it’s not a long book and I don’t want to rush through it. She writes in a way that has you laughing while you heart hurts, smushing together joy and gratitude up against the heartaches that make it hard to breathe.
So many lines I want to collect like pebbles and keep in my pockets. To remember how everything is ok and everything is a mess. Beauty and joy and heartache and sadness and anxiety and swimming and sunshine and puppies with pneumonia! It’s all this life and it’s taken a while to figure it out but no lane swims for me. Wild swimming from now on will be the way to go.
Pink Fish Reads 