At the moment I’ve chosen to write instead of refresh. Refresh is definitely the wrong word for it, for the endless scrolling because I know the numbers come for the day come out in ten minutes. And I know I could be do something so much better for myself.

I could be writing, working on my story or my novel. I could go back to reading Jessica Westhead’s stories from her collection Things Not to Do. I could bug the three other people in my house who are all working on school work, either as students and one as the teacher. I could play with my dog. I could make another cup of coffee and sit on my deck. I could start reading a new novel. Or go for a walk. Or take a shower. Or bake a cake.

The numbers are going up, Waterloo is not doing too great. We’re pulling back on some of the things we’ve been doing, and that makes us sad and frustrated when we drive through town and see so many groups of young people, here now for university, not wearing masks.

But we’re ok. We’ve got a routine, we’re enjoying the cooler weather. Rory bakes us treats that are half cookie on top and a brownie on the bottom. The kids don’t love school but they’re moving through the days at home with optimism and I’m so proud of them. Scott wore a bear head in a video to keep his university students happy. I’m going to make Julia Turshen’s meatloaf tonight and keep watching Schitt’s Creek.

PS – I did check the case numbers before I finished this post and they’re high, but nothing around me in this moment has changed.

2 thoughts on “Refresh”

  1. What if…you didn’t pay attention to the numbers? Why do they matter if you’re already doing everything you can to keep your family and your community safe? This has been my approach, because there are people who get paid to know the numbers and interpret them and do something about them—and I am not one of those people! So basically, until I start getting a paycheque for my anxiety, they’re not on my radar (unless the numbers are GREAT, and then we get to celebrate…)


    1. All good points! I think to be honest, it’s just important to me to be aware and not shut my eyes to what’s going on around me even if it’s hard. And the numbers affect our decisions as a family. But that being said, I’m definitely going to stop seeking them out.


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