So this is when I feel like a dork for the things I wrote and posted yesterday. I’m home with Bingo and I notice she isn’t making eye contact. I’ve perhaps embarrassed us both. But posting yesterday was at least a step forward rather than another day of staying still.
At work there is an older man who is there most days. He reads the paper and wears a ball cap. He has a little, scrunched up face and never smiles. My first introduction to him was when he asked me what else I did besides sit behind a desk and look good. He asked if I cooked and why wasn’t I at home doing that now. He hoped I didn’t make my husband do any other of that work, and when I told him he enjoyed cooking, the man told me there must be ‘something wrong’ (his air quotes, not mine). He later told me he was joking. But it keeps going and he is horrible but older and some others laugh him off. And because I am behind a desk and I am working, there is an expectation to be professional. But I am supported.
It is easy to imagine one day wearing my ‘nasty woman’ tshirt and telling him where to go. And I will, I will tell him he`s inappropriate and needs to stop. No, I will tell him he will stop. The last encounter was the other day and he asked me if I was going to attend a children’s pj storytime, if I’d be dressed up and looking good, maybe with a bottle of wine. I told him `of course not`and he walked away. Why didn`t I say more? We think nothing can shock us anymore, but it does every time and turns us into babbling dorks.
So when I think of this and what we have to deal with, I guess I’m not a dork for sharing my goals and things that are important to me. I have a community of family and friends who support me unconditionally. I need to stand up for everything that is important to me. No, I will stand up for everything that makes up my world.