The mornings have been beautiful, icy cold with sun. And it helps but I’ve still not been feeling myself. The days are long, there is so much to worry about, so much uncertainty. I’m grateful for consistency of twinkly lights, gorgeous skies, the perfect cup of coffee every morning and the newspaper we pick up out of the snow when we’re still in pjs.
I get stuck often, I’ll even say depressed because that’s just what it is, just another word and I always have, off and on. Whether right now it’s that Nana’s gone, or there isn’t enough sunlight or just so much to worry about, it doesn’t matter. Sometimes it’s hard to get off the couch and stop scrolling but the pull of the little things and love and hugs (oh, Scott’s hugs) and laughing are always stronger and bring me back.
So this morning I’m trying so hard. Yes, that included ordering more books, Maggie Smith’s Keep Moving and others. New pjs pants because it’s cold going out for that paper and I’m posting more on instagram to move through the day.
I made Julia Turshen’s delicious tomato soup last night from her latest cookbook which I love and served it with grilled cheese. I am drinking the perfect gingerbread flavoured tea right now. I am devouring Connie Willis’ Oxford Time Travelling Historian series and am looking forward to reading more books I’ve missed rather than always reaching for the newest one.
I am going to try to write here every morning, with tea and books piled around me like I’ve done for as long as I can remember. I am going to start writing once again because I have an idea for a novel that is so amazing and fun that I’m petrified to start! But I will, wearing cozy new slippers and a blanket I once bought for Nana.